Orphanage...

This morning I had the incredible opportunity to visit an orphanage in downtown Dalian. Bright and early at 7:30 I got on the bust with ten teachers and headed to love on some babies. I was not prepared for what I saw, driving there I was talking and having a good time. In the back of my head I was glad I was going to see the babies and help. I was not prepared for what I saw.

We got to the building. The only way I could tell it was an orphanage was the children paintings on the walls and up the stairs. We reached the third floor where the orphans we were going to be spending time with. When we down the hall the toddlers all immediately stood up in their cribs and were jumping and excited we were there. We all split up, I got assigned to the babies room. Claire, Agnes, Ann, and I were there and played with eight babies. We were told they were 6-12 months, but we think they are a lot older just under developed because the lack of interaction and malnutrition.

I didn't know where to start, they were all so in need of love. I picked up one little one and just loved on him. His diaper (and by diaper I mean a rectangle pad straddling him tied by a piece of string) was wet and he was just staring at me. I hugged him and tried to get him to move his legs and arms around. Shortly after Kristen, the Intel mom that organized it, put some mats down. We got all the babies out onto the mats and just played with them. We continued to play with them for a couple hours.

They were all so cute. A couple of them had birth defects (skin problems, downs, etc) and the others were perfectly fine. We were told that the children her are considered unadoptable. I assumed they were all girls, I was wrong only one was. Well we were told there was only one girl. Until the end of our time, one of the workers changed the diaper and he was a she! We all laughed because we didn't know it the whole time.

Overall I was glad I went and hope to continue to go back in the future. That being said, it was hard. Hard to see those helpless babies and have people tell you they are not worth being loved. Who are they to decide who gets to be loved. At one point I broke down and couldn't stop crying. I felt overwhelming guilt that I grew up in an amazing home, loved by my parents and siblings, and had opportunities abounding. Sadness that these babies will never have a mommy or daddy, sisters or brothers, and a childhood to cherish. As crazy as it sounds, I felt God when I was holding those babies. I just kept signing to them Jesus Loves You...I hope that they felt him too.

The trip to the orphanage was good, but hard. It was more than just a "feel good" trip, it was a glimpse into real life and humbling. I continue to pray for those babies each night. I spent the next couple days in a daze and sad, I am back to normal, but still have those babies on my brain.