Biking Madrid

Just a little update...this past weekend we decided to play the tourist card, and we hit the jackpot. We did two tours, a biking tour in the morning, and a wine and tapas tour in the late evening. Sadly, I didn't take many pictures during the second tour, I was too busy eating and drinking! Both were fantastic and helped us to appreciate all of Madrid's culture. 

From top left clockwise: The Royal Palace, posing for a picture in front of the palace, biking the streets, our transportation for the day. 

If you're ever in Madrid I highly recommend Bravo Bike. We spent about 4 hours cruising around the city with our wonderful guide Sebastian.  He was so knowledgeable and had a great personality.  We saw ALL the sights and got a frame of reference of where everything is.  Of course it wouldn't be Spain without stopping for a glass of wine along the way.

Biking is not as easy as I remember it, I almost fell a couple of times! 

I could spend month exploring this beautiful and historical town and still I wouldn't finish.  It's been great having Jess here so the #kuemstravel continues...

Plaza Mayor and us in Retiro Park 

Mother's Day

Yesterday was tough for me.  Not only was I returning from a week long accreditation visit, but it was Mother's Day.  I missed my mom and wanted to be with her to celebrate the rock of our family, but that wasn't possible.  It wasn't just that missing my mom that was hard, it was that my heart broke.  In January I had a miscarriage, an eptopic pregnancy and we lost our baby. I know I wasn't very far along, but I wanted that baby.  We wanted that baby.  I told a couple people here, and only a few people back home because I didn't know what to say.

I want to be a mom more than anything in the world. I was angry and sad. I shut down, to Jess, my friends, and my students. I just couldn't feel anymore. I put on a front to everyone and didn't act like anything was wrong. But it was...I could have been a mom. Jess would have been a father, an amazing one.

My anger and sadness slowly turned to trust. I heard God whispering in my ear, "Let me heal you."I know God has everything in control, but that doesn't take away the fact that it hurts. I try to seek Him daily and trust that he is writing the most amazing story for our little one's arrival, but it's hard.  Days like yesterday hurt, but I am happy for my friends and sisters at the same time (well let's be honest I am a little jealous too). I spent yesterday curled up in my bed and blamed it on the jetlag, but it wasn't the jetlag it was my heart.

I can't wait to see how God forms our family. I know it is going to be great, but let's be real...I'm not the most patient person. I want something and I go get it.  It's humbling to have to wait and trust. I am learning, and God has made Jess and my relationship stronger through this. In fact, Jess has been the most amazing man through all of it. He's let me cry. Let me pout. He let me be angry and bitter. Listened to me. Calmed my fears. Made me laugh. and just plain loved me.  I'm trying to choose joy.